recalcitrance

loads of moquito bites...

rashes...

tiredness...

dengue? hope not.





struggling... =S

Day 2... of a boring holiday. =S

*yawn* this chinese new yr thingy is turning me upside down.
visits...
dinners...
questions...
answers...
on everything in my life.
omg... cant wait for this to be over!

haha...
today wasnt tat bad.
paternal side came over to my place...
ang pows come flying in...
haha! =P
den pple raided my storeroom for my secondary sch textbooks.
-_-""'
den pple start teaching my little cousin how to not slouch using a book on her head.
-_-""
haha...
but i love it when e gathering is at my place.
no need to travel and stuff =P
every year shld be liddat!
haha...
i am just lazy...

tmr's anna's house visit day!!!!
haha...
mahjong time...
hope i'm lucky this year! =P

Chinese New Year Day 1

hmmm...
tiring day.
woke up at 11am.
waited for mum and sis to make up and stuff =S
left house at 12 noon...
haha...
started making our way to grandma's new place...
wth la.
once inside tat new flat.
its like an oven!
so bloody hot...
den i sat near e door...
after which i sensed that something was wrong...
e owner of e flat (aka Big Uncle) wasnt outside...
-_-""
den saw my second uncle whispering to my mum...
and my mum's face wasnt right...

i knew smthing was terribly wrong le.
den my relatives all come le...
talk.
joke.
and my big auntie so funny la!!!
she came in, saw me and my sister sitting together.
she tot i was her bf leh! haha...
so unbelievable...
-_-"""

i got change a lot meh?
haha...
perhaps she one whole year never see me le...

den tat Big Uncle came out.
in case u all abit blur, Big auntie is not big uncle's wife...
his eyes were like bulging la...
like wanna kill someone liddat leh!
omg la.
den all of us sensed something was wrong...
and we left one by one.
first was my second uncle and small auntie...
den it was us... and ko po's family.
and we found second uncle and small auntie downstairs talking la.

apparently,
he's upset at my grandma for giving her children (except him) money...
but he din even think abt e flat!
my grandma gave him e flat!
slap him man.
den in e end everyone came over to my place.
and they made it e location for next year's visit.
haha!

their place is like how cramped la.
their living room like half of mine...
and everything is like some dwarf's place la.

and wads e worst thing?
he never give us angpow!
wad a miser!
i shall slap him once everyday.
and i kept telling my mum to bring my grandma over to stay with us...
but she say she asked! but granny dun wan.
haix.
she's living in agony now la.

haix.
i feel so much for my granny...
all e food today was her money.
uncle provided nothing.
i'm pissed at her so-called son.
well, he shldnt even exist now.

slaps.

but on a happier tone!
got in touch with my relatives today.
quite fun!
haha...
and i suddenly realised how nice my place is!



to everyone out there,

enjoy ur holidays!

Chinese New Year

haha... playing around with a new font today =P
well... its e end of a year in e chinese sense...
till now i still dunno why there must be two new years but nvm.
got holidays can le...
wah seh this year chinese new year have 5 days of hols leh.
from friday's celebrations to tuesday.
not forgetting wednesday's x-country.
i hope it rains! haha...
-_-""
well...
today a single sms made my day.
tmr's schedule have to go grandma's place.
haha...
heng she shift house from bedok to sengkang.
so happy.
haha!!!!!
so near to my place...
=P

hopefully, this new year would be a start to new things.
i hope.

to everyone who noe me,
whether u regard me as a friend or not (but i do).
i wish u a happy chinese new year.

even if u don't have ur family with u thru this festive season,
ur frens are here.
i am here.
happy new year.

bad day for me.
tiring.
troubled.
everything.

tuition alone.
well.
not used to it.

tiring day.
headaches.
and everything...

i tot of doing smthing.

hopefully it wld work.

first of all...
congratulations to daniel, jlo, glen and timothy.
for winning third place in e just completed inter-house DotA competion!
haha...
happy for them =)
since they worked and trained real hard for it.
haha...
today was a bad day.
mr ho apparently was referring to me when he said the
"i hate it when pple dun do work."
haha...
bad la.
den i went to ask him smthing...
he said.
"oh u r supposed to memorise this, first page of 6.3 notes."
haha...
i just got silenced.
LOL.
i guess i better buck up during his class...
=S
i will.
haha...
i handed in loci assignment in time! =P
den after sch went to parkway to eat lunch with e class!
haha...
as ever. fun.

den went back for the scholarship talk...
i am praying for a scholarship...
if not its either local Uni or no Uni.
well.
to me, still too early to think abt this.
haha!

american idol is here...
haha... i gtg.
=S

i guess its e season for conflicts.

my parents just had a heated argument over something which i myself is unclear of.
she crying, he shouting.
den hear doors kana slammed.
well...
haha...
i just sit outside and use comp.
till she came out shouting at me to off e comp.
so i guess i'll sleep early tonight.

after the horrible physics spa...
(for more details. pls go read tracy's blog).
it was hell man.

haha...
i broke my beaker.
junlong kana scalded.
aiya.
accidents happen so often... =S

hope this season of conflicts can go away as fast as e monsoon season went past us.

=)

...

...

...

no words can describe how i feel now.
can this storm be over fast?
i beg of u God.

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day.
Accept the flusterof lost door keys,
the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.


~Elizabeth Bishop


watch "In Her Shoes".

so near yet so far...

Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breath
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

here i am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...(anymore)

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

me these few days:




hurt.

pierced.

troubled.

sad.

careless.

tactless.

foolish.

dumb.

cried.

holding on.

not letting go.

ignorance?
nope.

change?
perhaps.

da best bdae card eva.
read, cried.

e legacy (if u remember)?
gone? hope not.

petty?
yeah. me.

disappointed in myself.

irrational?
101%

brain?
gone.

apologies?
needed. frm me.

a talk.
definitely needed. tmr.

talk with me?
i noe u dun wan to. but its a must.
look into my guilty face. pls.

opportunity?
pls give me one. one last one.

my best eva eva friend.
there, but far away.

get him back?
trying, but hard.

misunderstandings?
loads.

headaches?
loads.

O friends?
important.

forgivence?
hopefully. but will be really hard.

time?
needed.

a miserable day?
yeah. unbearable.

i noe even a million apologies wont mend ur heart.
but i'm sorry.

fine.

this thing is evolving into a war i see.
an army against me.
wad can i do?
wad can i say?
some people are not worth getting mad over anyway.
if this supposed friendship is gonna be overuled tat soon,
i have nothing to say.

had faith in this "friendship".
but apparently, a meeting with e so called new frens were planned well ahead, 1 day b4.
another meeting planned by e OLD frens were planned 2-3 hrs b4.
meeting on e same day and time.
well, i am SO sure if those old frens had a planned meeting with their NEW frens,
they wld have gone out with their NEW FRENS.
i am just soooo sure.

fine.
to me, this war will end if either of two possibilities occur.
firstly, i self-destruct. which is possible, as those friends are too impt to me.
secondly, they destruct me, which is equally possible.

if i were to noe that e "friendship" between all of us was going to be tat frail,
i'd rather not start it.
cause in e end, i'll hurt myself, and also hurt other pple.
hmmm. lets see if this is gonna be tat frial after all.





hopefully not.

well.

when is e last time i cried in front of my comp?
when jasper died.

sad.
sad.
sader.

if this is wad u think happened.
it wld remain that way if u dunno me well enuf.
i tot u did.
well.
fine.

total screwed up day.


*** update at 2211hrs.

well,
sorry to e pple i apparently pangsehed today.
tracy, seth, waiyip, tim, just and more.
well.
cant say anything else but sorry!

dun worry.
there wont be another chance for me to pangseh u again this yr (:

hmmm...
recently hooked onto a song called tian kong,
sang by a few artists...
yuan wei jue xing, jolin and derek from project superstar.
hmm...
v nice song.
hmm...

this entry shall be detailed.
haha...

hmm... was woken up by jieshi this morn.
at 8.50am.
wth la!
den met her at city hall at 1.30pm.
so superbly coincidental, i boarded e train at dhoby ghaut at e same carriage.
haha...
den some wierd AJC girl was scrutinising me.
wth la.
den jieshi told me she was scrutinising her too! wad a wierdo.
and she was reading some book on nakedness:how to show ur feelings thru ur naked body.
or smthing to tat effect.
after tat, i am soooo convinced she is a total wierdo.
haha!
den walk around...
walk and walk.
saw dory.

haha.

den went to have lunch at secret recipe.
hmm.
real nice food.
haha!
den after tat daniel called and said he was disqualified frm e comp.
wth la!
haha...
but he expected it.
so... yeah.
and latest news! Maurice got first for tat comp!
woo!
congrats maurice!...

den after tat...
went to my place to get my laptop.
walked over to daniel's place.
haha..
den saw ben chua -__-""
haha!
after which we dota-ed.
had pizza.
went home.
how exciting.
haha!

tmr, i am gonna go run.
i will run!
nothing will stop me!
humphx.

well....

somethings cant be expressed.
i guess.

tiring day.
stupid day.

dunno wad to say.
dunno wad to do.
dunno wad to blog abt.

nothing nice happened today.
prob except e bowling session.
e meeting was nice.
i am having juniors!
yeah.
=S

wadever.
dun antagonise me.
(i guess i said this b4).




and no, i'm not depressed.
just feel like it.

haha....
with popular demand from kelvin, i shall supply a more in-depth describtion of e wonderful life of a wonderful person (aka me).
haha!

well.
wad did i do today?
woke up at 2pm.
used comp till 5pm.
go to kovan walk walk buy stuff eat drink.
came home at 7.30pm.
eat dinner slack PACK ROOM till 9pm.
online from 9pm to infinity.

haha... wad an "interesting" daily programme.
-_-""'
haha...
with e end of O1.
everything seems much more relaxed.
was so tensed up thru e past week.
but i shld say its quite a success.
well... OGLs out there. if there are any comments on O1 '06, pls tag my blog.
haha... tmr's e official start of lessons for me and e OGLs.
hopefully i'll be able to bond back into e class.
haha...
i am tired.
tired of everything but life.
hopefully life has something better for me at e finish line.
hmm.
yeah.

with the premiere of survivor panama on feb 3 in singapore,
i noe i wont be bored.
haha.
but...
e inevitable A levels is wad scares me.
it wld be a bloody hectic year.
den NS comes.
i dun even dare to think beyond NS.
wad if i become a victim to another dunking or cardiac failure NSman?
haha!
i shall remain optimistic.
-_-"""
well... its start of sch for me tmr.
it wld be a new start.

i packed my room!!!!
as stated above. haha...
so happy.
my room is like how bloody clean la.
even my mum say its good.
haha...
but if its not for CNY, i will heck.
haha!
but i did it.
since like dunno when...
haha.
damn neat room now.
going to install another wardrobe for me to put clothes i think =P
haha...
and i also asking for somemore boxes to store stuff that i wanna keep...
yep.
hopefully. my room becomes more cosy.
haha...

starting tuition with jfoo, waiyip and jlo on thurs.
excited.
at least i wont waste those hours slackin at home.
haha...

new year = new start in everything.

ok. my 200th post!

haha...
sea regatta was fun! LOL.
esp when i got dragged on e sand.
till my back got some serious abrasions.
slap them la.
haha.
when it started raining.
i was one of e first to run back.
haha...
before i kana stampede or smthing.
LOL.

den bathed.
wah....
apply soap on my back is like rubbing salt onto a wound.
PAIN.
haha...

it was fun though.
played frisbee... and stuff.
after which went to meet niao they all for lan.
den now i am home.

haha...
playing pictionary using msn with glen munty jlo and foo.
HAHA!
damn funny la!
i shall go back to that game.
haha...
cya guys on wed.






UPDATE AT 2251HRS.
omg!!!!!! survivor 12's website is on!
LOL.
go meet e 16 new survivors.
first time there will be 4 tribes, divided along gender and age lines...
go look at them.
*lookin forward to e feb 3 premier in singapore*
*grins*

hmmm.
wad can i say?
tired!
haha...
even through e weekend!
but i am definitely lookin forward to our adhoc dinner.
aka end of orientation.
i'll be soooo liberated!
haha!
gonna go sleep le.
but b4 tat.

happy bdae haosiang. and stop talkin rubbish kelvin.

haha...

will try to update more detailed events soon.
*yawnx*

haha...
day 3 gone by!
haha...
quite exhausting.
haha...

but fun!

i love squash!
haha...
den to all 05S46 pple,
our junior class is called 06S55.
dotz rite?
haha!
lol.
looking forward to meetin them tmr.
haha!

played a game of dota with jlo and glen.
haha...
one of e most perfect games i played!
haha!
i never die at all!
haha!

so... perfect! haha!
love it!

second day of orientation.
still tired.
but kinda immuned le.
=S
haha.
not as bad as yesterday. haha...
hmm... wad did i do today?

nothing.

except.

packing shirts.
packing shorts.
packing collar pins.
haha.
TOTAL SLAPS.
i worked from 9am to 6pm.

where?

in e bookshop.
slap.
and now wads happening?
someone is trying to force my dad to change e lock of our door.
and to give us "master keys" to open our lock and master door.
slap la.
and how much he charging????
145.
haha.
actually not a lot.
but it is a lot.
LOL.
to change e position of some lock.
SLAP.
haha!

my dad is kinda interested.
since he listened to him talk for like 15 mins le.
haha!
so...
i got a hunch my dad's gonna agree to the two idiots.
haha!
i dunno la.
if he really agree will be perfect la.
i'll have one key for e lock + e master door.
woohoo!
haha...
how they do ar? dunno leh.
they say some machine amendment.
but wouldnt it make it easier to robbers?
wad if i lose e key?
haha.
slap.
and i just frowned at that guy.
haha...
-_-"""""""
well.
my dad seems to be 99.99999999% agreeable to him.
=S

got some lifetime warranty.
wad if they close down?
haha!
haiz.
i am quite tired.
but not too tired to sleep.
i guess.
tmr's adhoc meeting at 7.10am again.
well.... -_-"""

ohoh....
just remembered today.
morning assembly, met my new classmate.
haha! and wad happened?
cause i tot he was daniel and pushed him.
OMG LA.
den i said "move back." cause pple in front not enuf space.
=S
and den he moved all e way to e back of e line.

OMG LA.
my nice nice reputation just went down e drain.
HAHA!
slaps la.
omg! totally malu.
haha....


update on e locks convy: my mum just said no.
but my dad is still continuing to talk to him...
wad da hell la.
145 bucks =S
gimme better.
i believe singapore is safe enuf.
dun need tat extra door lock.
since our lock is secured enuf.
=S
well. my dad just said he'll consider.
(:
haha. good choice.
but e salesman v good leh.
LOL.
lets see e verdict.
shld be coming out soon.... (:


haha. he rejected them.
and wad did they say after he left?
"can consider.... call e boss later. 240 buck."

WAD DA HELL LA.
slaps.
haha!
ok, i think i blog enuf le.
wth.
haha!
shld go sleep soon =S
i guess.

cya tmr.
enjoy day 3 ya!

my 200th post approaching.

195th post:

well. today was a bloody sucky day.
tired.
exhausted.
head aching.
felt like slapping OG Heads, esp e Osmoze one, since he was e last to give me e order form.
slap.

slap.

slap.

ok. enuf of slapping.
well... was bloody relieved after i could go home.
den on e bus chatted with joyce.
haha.
bloody funny =S
den reach home, ate a wonderful dinner.
unfortunately there was no soup.
haha...
now having headache.
just popped panadol.

and wads e most annoying thing that can happen to someone having a headache?
someone nagging behind.
WTH LA.
my dad was basically trying to disuade me from: -

1. blogging.
2. msn-ing.
3. reading up on stupid (or so he calls it) stuff like survivor news or other pple's blogs.
4. doing everything but homework.

wth la.
he trying to turn me into a total 100% nerd.
haha...
slap la.
den he keep trying to harp on e fact that no university wld accept me.
den started talkin abt e prospect of me flunking this yr.
"even if we fund u for Uni, u might not even make it!"
slaps la.
wth.
he's driving me to my grave.

but to prevent my financial aids from being cut off,
i tried to shoo him with a nice tone.
but noe-ing me, slap = slap.
wont be nice de.
haha...
now he pissed off again.
but not to e extent to cut my throat financially.
haha!
well...
every part of my body is aching now.
going to sleep in a while.
got Adhoc meeting tmr at 7.10
omg la.

-_-"""

haha... but O1 rawks!
i shld be enjoying it tmr. =S

haha....
orientation 1 officially starts in a few hours.
our hard work will soon pay off.
i foresee great achievements this week.
i hope it wld go well.
haha...

publicity for O1 started!
on e VJC website.
haha...
go take a look.
kinda shocked!
LOL.

tmr is e start of my A level year.
haix.
die sia.
today was chionging homework at waiyips place.
and it finally dawned upon me that university is coming.
after NS of course.
haha...
):
LOL.

no time le.
haha...
gonna sleep early tonight!
LOL.
so till then...
cya guys.
have fun in sch ya.
and to those without sch.
slap urselfs.
haha!

Reflections of Year 2005 (e gone year... haha)

2005,
a year of surprises,
disappointments,
expectations,
failures,
and also successes.

wow. wad a huge opening. haha...
but it is indeed...
a wonderful yet stressful year.

loads of stress coming in from all over the place.
parents, teachers, SC pple, friends (yes, some =P)... and more.
but i thought last year was still quite manageable.
haha... but i noe that this year wont be.
tutorials piling up, yes piling. not done.
assignments piling up.
everything piling.
expectations piling, stress piling.
time will not pile up but fly.
real fast thru this new year.

wad did i do the whole of last yr?
well, nothing much.
for most of wad i wanted, i got them.
wad abt those tat i didnt get? i'll try again next yr ba.
hard? perhaps.
last yr (aka 2005) was a year of fun, fun and fun.
perhaps out of 100% only 1% was homework, tutorials and assignments.
tat sounds vvvv wrong for someone whose full time occupation was supposed to be a Student.
well...
mistakes made in 2005 shldnt be carried forward to 2006.

i hope.

e class have been superbly fun.
my marist gang have also been vvvv much supportive.
of everything.
highlight of e year was WMC.
my proudest achievement (though small) till now.
fun for 7 days w/o tutorials and stuff was vvv fun.
but the days after that 7 days were horrible.
yeah, but i survived.

i guess the next yr wld be one that is hard to survive.
but if i survived 17 years, i dun think it would be tough.
but i noe it needs xtra effort.
wld i put it in?

Resolutions:
1. reactivate Project SS. (impossible? dun think so =P)
2. do all my tutorials and assignments.
3. try not to use the computer too much (keyword: TRY)
4. go out less, since that equals to spend less money. =P
5. clean my room (this resolution have been carried forward n times le =P)
6. stop snacking and eating for no particular reason. =S
7. listen to my elders (aka parents and teachers).
8. lastly, take good care of my labby.

haha...
dont these seem difficult to achieve?
i hope not...
haha...
throughout this year, i want to enjoy it.
last year in civilisation, so why not?
hopfully, there wont be natural disasters in this world.
even if have, pls dun let it be in Singapore. haha...
but really, i want WORLD PEACE!
haha...
so miss congeniality.
LOL.
no more starving, suffering everywhere in the world.
more reality TVs pls.
haha!
i'm so sure survivor: panama exile island and TAR 9 will be great.
well...
so much for now.
anymore unfinished resolutions will be posted next year.




btw. thanks to all whom have made a difference in my life the last year.
i really appreciate it (: